Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Second Interview!!!

First interview with Girls Inc. went awesome today!!!  Second interview is tomorrow morning!!!

I think I got this!!  I'm soooooo happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

follow-up realizations worthy of notation:

  • After a few months of eating animal products, and that after being vegan for years, I really can't stomach it and ALL that entails anymore.  Plant-based is right for me, period. Glad I had the courage to listen to myself and to take a closer look at the historic and emotional roots and complexities of my values, motivations, beliefs and habits, and got that out of my system.  I'm glad to get back to a way of life that feels authentic and right for me. I prefer to be a steward and conservationist.
  • Tried drinking alcohol (wine) again back in the spring just to see if it was fun, that didn't last long. Wine is really beautiful, actually.  I like grapes a lot. Lots of people like drinking...I just don't. Maybe that will be different someday.  I'll stay open to it, but I actually love being sober! 
  • I tried the ketogenic high-fat nutrition plan...which was interesting and eating rich fatty foods are delicious for a while, but not for me as a staple.  I feel sluggish on them.  Research shows it's great for some people and if I find myself epileptic or with neurological/neurodegenerative issues, perhaps I'll revisit this. Until then, I need healthy carbohydrates and lots of colorful, beautiful fruit!  Fruit makes me happy and energized!  The keto thing was causing my hormones to feel imbalanced and my mood was shit much of the time.  Perhaps this last month was harder than it needed to be and I just wasn't properly nourished?  Glad I didn't do anything stupid.  I think too little carbs is not healthful for women, and maybe not for men either; that I'll never know first hand.  Plus, I like to run and run for miles, and that's pretty dang hard to do without enough carbs. 
  • I like periodic intermittent and prolonged fasting and feel the variety of benefits and clarity which come with it, so I'll continue with that as needed.

Finally, I got an interview with Girls Inc.!!!!! Ow-oooooo!!! Howl at the moon!!!!! Ow-Ow-Ow-oooo!!!  Si se puede! We can do it!!!

Existential Trust Issues

Isn't it astonishing to (or rather, I feel astonished as I) realize that nearly any belief, argument, and agenda, whether congruent with or opposing another, can be backed by "evidence," "science," "research," "studies," and whatnot! I find such dialectics to be both exciting and aggravating, although I love how complex and mysterious EVERYTHING actually is. Keeping things simple is a great coping/living strategy, and I practice this in general, but nothing is really simple and most things are rarely what they seem and can be analyzed, reduced, extrapolated, etc. How does one sift through so much information and discover what is real, I mean, even just for one's self? A priori knowledge and direct experience must be the deciding factor, at least on an individual basis, but how much can that be trusted?!?!? Clearly, when we view the state of our human condition on individual and collective scales, with all of our different problems, a priori isn't the answer either. So what is? (I don't expect you to have the answers, although I'd love to know your thoughts.)


Monday, August 21, 2017

Employment Seeking: Persevere!

Applying for several positions today, all of which I think I could excel at.  If I get a full-time job, especially if it's an hour drive to ABQ, I'll have to slow school down most likely.  That would be fine.  I can't wait tables anymore.  I am so unhappy in that work...and I'm too introverted and burnt out for that sort of hustling. I hate it!!! I hate waiting on people!!!  It kills my soul!  I'm educated and have real, awesome interpersonal, therapeutic, intuitive and creative skills to offer.  I WILL find a better job that suits me and I won't give up until I get it!  Once I finally have my MA I'll be in way better shape to get a job I a counseling job with an international organization like the UN or another one.  Must...hold...on...

Saturday, August 19, 2017

'More human' human beings

"A movement begins when the oppressed begin seeing themselves as pioneers in creating new, more human relations and thus advancing the evolution of the human race.

Confident of their own humanity, movement builders are able to recognize the humanity in others, including their opponents, and therefore the potential within them for redemption.

The methods we use in our struggles are transforming ourselves as well as our opponents into 'more human' human beings."

Grace Lee Boggs

Friday, August 18, 2017

La Boheme: Let's Go Home

Dawning at birth




Culminating, synergistic cooperation

Butterfly affect across the nation

Arise gentle wisdom

Turn our new Leaves of Grass

From seeds of compassion

Gestating and germinating

A peace enduring shall last

Alchemy, Hermes-Thoth, Rabindranath
Harmony in We

Curing collective Ennui and Plath

Universal a priori 
                                                         On the stage of Montparnasse

Image result for modigliani girl with the necktie

romanticism: my favorite coping mechanism and character shortcoming...
and I am incurable 

Image result for modigliani paul guillaume

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Aspen Vista

 Up at 5 amping up for a 12 mile hike!  So exciting!

Summer will be over soon so I have to make the best of my free time while I have it.